Social Media for Humans

Setting boundaries with social media

June 24, 2022 Alexis Bushnell Season 2 Episode 16
Social Media for Humans
Setting boundaries with social media
Show Notes Transcript

If you struggle with boundaries on social media whether that's spending too much time scrolling, feeling bad for not responding fast enough or the dreaded post-regret, this episode is for you!
I share some ideas about how to set your boundaries and stick to them!

Alexis' links.
I hang out on Instagram:​
Find me on Facebook:
Join the club to learn more about ethical and effective social media marketing:

Voice over by Hawke Wood:

Support the show

Hello and welcome to Social Media for  Humans, the podcast that empowers you to do social   differently. Your host, Alexis Bushnell, and her  guests discuss their experience of social media   as business owners, users and, ultimately,  humans. With insights and advice to help   you find an effective and ethical strategy  that works for you. Grab yourself a drink and join the conversation.


Hello, hello, I'm Alexis, my pronouns are she her. Welcome to a   little quick tip episode of the Social Media for  Humans podcast, today I want to chat a little bit   about how you can set boundaries with your  social media, especially if you're running   a business because it is something that I know a  lot of people find really difficult. One of the   big things that I know people struggle with around  boundaries and social media is the engagement side   of it and, for me, I am really big on engagement.  I believe engagement is the most important thing   on social media, outreach engagement, actively  being a part of the communities that you're in.   chatting to people. The clue is in the name  "social media!" But it can also take a lot   of time, it's very easy to get lost scrolling,  doing the scroll, getting chatting with people   can be really fun. So there are a few ways you  can do this, one is set a timer, this is kind   of like generic advice, set a timer when you go  to hop on and do your engagement, five minutes,   ten minutes, 15 minutes, half an hour, whatever.  I tend to say as well don't be doing engagement   while you're doing something else, so don't  put on like a half hour show on the TV   to do your engagement while you're sort of  watching it because unless you, I mean if you are   somebody who can focus on the show and also like  leave thoughtful comments how about it you do you,   I am definitely not that person okay, if  I've got a show on I'm watching the show   and then I'm just sort of scrolling and liking,  I'm not actually doing kind of useful engagement,   I'm definitely not leaving thoughtful comments,  so I tend to say try to not be doing other stuff   so that you can actually focus for that amount of  time and it is time better spent, shall we say.   So yeah try setting a timer. Another thing you can  do if you are worried about the speed with which   you are replying to DMs, comments, stuff like  that, is to actually include the information of   when you will be checking in on those things in  your bio or even in as almost a signature on the   bottom of your posts. So if you are conscious  that you are not on social media every day,   maybe you check in on a Monday and a Friday,  maybe you check in on a Tuesday and a Thursday,   maybe you never check in at the weekends,  maybe you only check in at the weekends.   If you're somebody who feels conscious about that  and who feels like "well people are going to send   me a DM and they're just not going to get anything  back or they're going to reply, they're going to   leave a comment on my post and I'm not going to  reply for a couple of days and they're going to   think that I don't care about their comment," if  that is your thought process it is absolutely fine   to put just a little note automatically  even on the bottom of all your posts,   if you're using a scheduling system you should  be able to do this really easily, or you can   just have a thing that you copy and paste and  whack on the end of any captions that says "I   check in and reply to comments and DMs on this  day, or between these hours," or whatever it is,   or put it in your bio and set up an auto responder  for your DMs and messages that says that, because   that tends to be the sticking point for a lot of  people is like people don't know and if people   don't know when you're checking in it can feel  really scary to just not reply to those comments,   but if they know, if there's a note that says  like "hey, I only scroll on Instagram on Tuesdays   between seven and half seven," then they know,  so now you don't need to stress out about it, you   don't need to feel bad about it. You don't need  to feel bad about it anyway but I am also aware   a lot of people do, so that is another way that  you can do that around engagement. Another place   that I recommend you having boundaries  around social media is what you post,   especially with Stories and a lot of behind the  scenes content becoming really really popular,   the push for authenticity, which is great, I  am team authenticity. Authentic authenticity,   not like Instagram authenticity, that's a whole  other discussion! It can be really easy to get   swept up and to think "oh everybody is sharing  their family holiday photos, maybe I should do   that. Everybody's sharing their trip to the beach,  everybody is talking about their mental health,   everybody's talking about their physical health,  everybody is sharing their political views."   If you are not comfortable sharing those  things, you need to decide in advance,   and this is something I say to every client I work  with, before you start posting anything figure out   what you are and are not comfortable sharing, and  that can also mean talking to the people in your   life because maybe you are comfortable sharing  stories about your kids or your partner or your   friends but maybe they're not comfortable with it  and you have to respect their boundaries as well,   so it is really helpful to have those chats with  the people who might be featuring on your social   media and also with yourself and make a list,  if you are a list person, put it in your content   planner if you have one. Have something somewhere  where you can refer to so that when a something   becomes really popular or you start feeling  pressured to post about that because people are   asking you about it, or because everybody else is  doing it, or it's in the news, or it's whatever,   you can refer to that and go "no, this is not  something that I am prepared to post about,   this is not something that I feel comfortable  sharing so I'm not going to do it," because once   it's out there the internet is forever, even if  you delete it somebody could have screenshot it,   it might be somewhere so it is much much much  much better to err on the side of less. So if you   are not sure how much of your mental health story  you want to share, err on the side of not sharing   much at all because you can't take it back. You  can always open up more as you maybe start to feel   more confident, as you start to feel more able  and happy and comfortable sharing those things   you can always share more but you can't, there  is no like undo button on the putting stuff out   there! So please please please have an idea of  what you are and are not happy sharing and make   it a list, make it a tangible thing that you can  check in with so that when you feel that pressure   you can look and go "look now, I committed to  not posting about these things because it is not   comfortable for me," because there are so many  times that people get swept up in the moment,   they get swept up in maybe it's a really  important thing that's going on, that's trending,   that there's a hashtag, everybody's getting  involved talking about it, maybe it's something   that you recognize is a really really important  conversation that really really needs to happen,   and then people post about it and then a day  later, a week later, they feel so vulnerable   and so upset and so scared and just so not happy  that they did that, it really is not worth it, it   is much much better to not post that thing. If you  want to you can write the post and maybe future   you will feel in a better place and be able to  talk about that, great! You don't have to post it,   and it can be really helpful to have a list  of some descriptions so you can check in   with your previous selves and go "okay, but we  arranged not to talk about this stuff because it   makes us feel not great, it doesn't feel good  for us so we're not going to mention that."   So they are sort of three little quick tips  for you with setting boundaries around your   social media. I would love to know what  boundaries you have around social media   so do let me know. If you would like help figuring  out what your boundaries are around social media   or indeed just sticking to them, because it can  be tough, I would love to see you in Social Media   for Humans Club which is a membership  for small business owners helping you   do social media in a way that works for you. You  can also support the podcast on Patreon where you   will get early access to the episodes. Follow  me on social media for more tips and stuff,   all the links will be in the show notes, and take  care of yourself.


If you want more regular reminders to find your own way to use social media  follow Alexis on your social platform of choice,   all the links will be in the show  notes. Until next time, be a human.