Social Media for Humans

Building community on LinkedIn with Tanya Obeng

April 16, 2021 Alexis Bushnell Season 1 Episode 7
Social Media for Humans
Building community on LinkedIn with Tanya Obeng
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode we dive deep into why so many people are afraid to be their authentic selves on social media with Tanya (she/her) the communication doctor and discuss how she's built her community on LinkedIn.

Tanya is passionate about helping leaders, business owners and senior leaders reposition, unlock their creativity and get back on their pathway to success.
Her aim is to promote mindfulness and use psychodrama as a tool to help others open up and tell their stories in an authentic way. She loves to connect with people who have the same interest or want to acknowledge some of the communication issues within the workplace. Her approach is empowering, supportive and inspiring, and she aspires to elevate all of her clients.

She runs two workshops, the first is a return to a sense of self the second is to unlock your creativity and reposition into another working environment. Maybe you are a new leader, maybe you are showing signs of the burnout and want some support. If you resonate with anything Tanya said do not hesitate to connect and book a session.

Tanya's website: https://www.communicationdoctor.co.uk

Find Tanya on LinkedIn.
Follow Tanya on Instagram.

Check out The Communication Hub.

Alexis' links.
I hang out on Instagram.

Join Alexis' free Facebook group.

Join the Social Media for Humans membership.

Voice over by Hawke Wood.

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/socialmediaforhumans)

- [Hawke] Hello, and welcome to "Social Media for Humans," the podcast that empowers you to do social differently. Your host, Alexis Bushnell, and her guests discuss their experience of social media as business owners, users, and ultimately humans. With insights and advice to help you find an effective and ethical strategy that works for you. Grab yourself a drink and join the conversation. - Hello, hello. I am here with wonderful Tanya. Do you want to introduce yourself, tell us who you are and what you do? - Okay, hello, and thank you so much for inviting me on your show, Alexis. I'm really excited 'cause I love to talk. My name is Tanya, and my kind of brand is communication doctor. I call myself communication doctor, and what that basically does is it's like a doctor for communication, yeah? (laughs) And what I do, basically, I kind of heal, in the sense... I don't like the idea of saying I heal you. I don't heal you. I help people and support them to kind of come out of themselves by working on their throat chakra, and I use both the spiritual, and also from a coaching perspective. I have certain skills, and I'm a hypnotherapist as well, so I use certain skills to help people to access the blocks, and once you kind of know what the blocks are that are holding them back from saying what they need to say or doing what they really need to do. So I feel like I unleash your confidence and help people to really communicate, so that's really what I do, but I've got a whole 10-week course of doing it. There you go. - Something that's really important on social media is finding like your authentic voice, and not being afraid to speak the way you actually speak, and put yourself out there. So you must work with a lot of different people with a lot of different reasons for why they are struggling to put themselves out there. - Yeah. Yeah. - Can you tell us sort of the variety of difficulties people are having? - You know what, that's so interesting. Because I've called myself this name, communication doctor, I've attracted people from all walks of life. Originally, I was working in the school system, and I was working mainly with headmasters, and teachers, and they, you know, obviously, they're speakers as well, that's what I do for a living. But sometimes even they struggle because they're in a system that is very constrained, and sometimes it's like, it's almost like being in, when you are in school, when you are in a school system, and me being a teacher myself, it is very tough, because you have to stick to the rules. There's so many rules when you work in public sector, as a whole, in education. And a lot of the time there is that fear as to how do I do this? And how do I do that properly? And is anybody going to criticise me? And I always say to people, "Yeah, of course people are gonna criticise you, "but you've got to go for what you want. "It's as simple as that. "I'm not gonna lie to you "and say that everybody's gonna love you. "Sometimes when you wanna climb to the top, "people are gonna dislike you. "People are gonna criticise you," and it's about kind of building that thick skin, and in that kind of journey of working with schools, I've also worked with corporates as well. I've had people in marketing, people in PR, people from all different walks of life, you know, that have come to me and done my 10-week programme, and it is interesting the various different people. One particular lady was going through divorce, (indistinct) 'cause I don't really talk about the clients too much individually, but I won't mention their names, and it almost helped her to kind of find that confidence in herself to realise that she can cope on her own, and she was a little bit more successful with her company 'cause she'd just actually built her company, before that, she was working. So it's almost like it's interesting. When people come to me, it's like everything around them is collapsing, so I kind of associate that with the tower card you know in tarot. And in tarot, there's a card called the tower, and that's when everything is going wrong, you know. It's like, "Oh, my God," everything's collapsing around you, but I actually think that's a really powerful card 'cause when everything collapses around you, the only way is up, yeah? (laughs) And I feel that's kind of an optimistic way to look at things you know. You're not gonna go any more down, but you've just got to think about how you can climb, and climb, and climb, and actually, in collapsing, there is so much learning, as Richard Branson always talks about. He likes to work with people who have had a failed business because he says then you can understand what has gone on, and sometimes when you do fail, I hate the word fail, but I'm just gonna use it just for this context, but when you do fail, and you're able to step back and look at why you failed, that's the greatest learning because nothing in life is cruising, beautiful, and smooth. People that are making out that their life is smooth and cruising, it's absolute rubbish. That's what we call Fakebook, yeah? (Alexis laughs) There's always a bump in the road, and when you dive deep, and especially doing this work that I do kind of from a therapist perspective, I'm always thinking, "Wow, that person's coming, "and they look like everything's amazing in their lives," and when I dive deep, there's the cracks there, but the cracks is what make them unique and special, and it's about owning those cracks, and actually looking at how those cracks can work for them, so there's lots of different layers with the course, but I do use a lot of creativity to help people to come out of themselves. I do get people to write poems. I get people to paint 'cause it opens up something in you from a therapist perspective when you are able to delve into that creative side of you, yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. Actually, it's interesting you mention creativity because something that I notice when I am working with people on their social media is this fear to be creative with what they put out there. It's this like "Well, I would really like to post these types of things. "I'd really like to change the way I write my captions. "I'd really like to put out "this kind of wacky series of posts, "but people won't get it, but people won't like it, "but that's not what people want from me," and it makes me so sad because I'm like, "But that's part of you. "That's part of your thing. "You should put that out there," and yeah, there's gonna be people who are like, "I don't get that. "This is not what I signed up for," but equally, you are gonna find that people find you because of that. They're gonna come to you and be like, "Yes, this is so wacky, and out there, "and I totally get it, and that is my thing," and so there is so much power in truly putting yourself out there, in the weird bits of you, the cracked bits of you, all those bits, and just being like, "Yeah, this is who I am. This is what you get," because your people will respond to that. - Totally, totally, and it's so interesting because what happens is I feel that people overthink things, and it is fun. It's interesting, like what you said, 'cause that happens a lot where people overthink things, and I say, "Just experiment with it," but you know what? Some people may take some time. They might, it's like they'll listen to you or take on that advice. They'll go away, and it may take two or three months before they start to manifest or put it into action, and it's just because the brain needs time to process it, and I feel that's okay too. It's almost like when you are working with someone as the coach, or you're working with someone as the therapist, you have to step back and allow people to do things in their time, and I think that's really important it's interesting what you said there with regards to that 'cause it's people always do overthink things, especially women, women more so than men. Men will just do it. (laughs) Normally, men are really overconfident. That's the opposite with men, or they tend to, I wouldn't say they're overconfident. Okay, let's rephrase that. Sometimes men tend to appear overconfident, like they've got it all together. It's probably a bit of a mask. They probably aren't as confident and than women. Whereas women, we talk amongst women, they do tend to overthink things, do tend to procrastinate because they're just afraid of being judged. We're all afraid of being judged. I think that's just perfectly normal, you know? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, that is something that I see. I mean, I work primarily with women, and that is definitely, the overthinking and the procrastinating sort of because of it is definitely something that comes up, and they're sort of like, "Well, it's taken me three hours "to write this Instagram post," and I'm like, "Well, it's fabulous, "but maybe try and do it "in a little bit less time next time (laughs) maybe. "Maybe you don't have to think "about every single word choice. "It's gonna be okay "if you just bash something out in 10 minutes "and put it out there. "It's still gonna be-" - No one reads on Instagram, though, do they? (laughs) I say that or for LinkedIn, I kinda get that, but no one reads on Instagram. It's a very quick, quick motion, isn't it? That up motion is very quick, so that's quite funny (indistinct). (laughs) So interesting, isn't it, so interesting. (laughs) - It is, it is, so you mentioned LinkedIn there, and before we started recording this, I asked you if you were happy to talk about LinkedIn 'cause you are very prolific on LinkedIn, I would say. - [Tanya] Well, thank you. - And it is impressive to me because so many people I speak to hate LinkedIn. They think it is just, it's difficult to get any traction on. It's full of stuffy businessmen who will tell you that this is not Facebook. It's full (laughs). It's not for them. That is the general vibe, and you are definitely not a stuffy businessman, (both laugh) and the content you put out is definitely not, I think, what a lot of people think of when they think of LinkedIn, but you're having a lot of success over there, so if you wanna tell me about your relationship to LinkedIn. - It's really interesting. I think, you know what it is? It's patience, patience and, you know, okay, I'm a woman. I do, I did overthink things, but I feel it's a process of letting go. I've gone through that process of letting go. It's almost like I've hypnotised myself. (both laugh) Let go of that, Tanya, so basically, I like all different platforms, but LinkedIn's been my favourite because I see it as the results platform, and it does require patience, and I'm quite stubborn, so I'm not gonna give in to everything that other people tell me. I like to kind of figure things out myself, and with regards to it, I don't care if I don't get a hundred kind of likes on LinkedIn, so I've been on LinkedIn for a long time, and I've been patient 'cause on Facebook, and Insta, I mean, I'm even on Twitter, but I'm not very active on Twitter, and I realised I don't have to be on every single platform as well, so I've been very patient in terms of at one point I was only getting, I was getting no likes (laughs) so I'd post, and post, and post, but then I had someone say to me, "Tanya, but look at your views," so I was getting no likes, but I looked at the views, but people were viewing, so I thought, "As people are actually viewing, "that's more important than how many likes," and let's not get kind of fixated with the idea of how many likes you get because you can get obsessed with that, and then it becomes like an addiction, so as soon as I let go of that, and I only post twice. I post on a Monday and a Thursday on LinkedIn. I've been told that I'll get more interaction if I post every day on LinkedIn, if I post three times a day, and the stubbornness in me says, "No way. I've got a business to run." I'm not gonna spend my life on social media. It is a place for a presence online. Clubhouse, people have approached me about Clubhouse. I thought, "No way. "That's another thing distracts me from my world," but coming back to LinkedIn, I feel it's all about patience, and I'm probably a bit Facebook on LinkedIn in terms of what I post 'cause if I find, I just post what I feel, and what's happening, so for example when we had mental health awareness I posted about mental health awareness I've posted about International Women's Day I post, I use it for a platform to promote my podcast and that has worked and I also use it or use it People find me actually at one point I used to approach people but now actually people find me I get asked for to do speaking gigs and it's all via LinkedIn and if someone tries to sell me something on the first it's like it's like a date It's like dating, right If I get a message you know you get loads of messages through LinkedIn so are a lot of people may not be posted but the messages things the message not messages on messenger so what is it? The message on LinkedIn? People really use that a lot and it's almost I see it I see it like dating. Yeah. Okay. When you go on a first date right? You don't wanna give it all up (both laugh) - Yeah - Wanna get to know someone, you wanna go on several dates you wanna build up a trust and a relationship before you have that first kiss You know? so when people start sharing all of that they've actually telling me okay they want me to buy this and they're selling to me in the first message I tend to block them or I tend to just delete Now People probably know I'm just letting them know that because I don't mind interacting If you've got something to share with me I don't mind if you've got a website but show some interest in me and I show some interest in you That's what I think is about it's just about building a relationship in marketing It's about being interested in both of us with you Alexis I think I showed some interest in you You showed some interest in me which is why we're now having this podcast That's how I work with people If I see that someone is all about themselves I remove myself from them, yeah? Because I think it's just it's about a relationship It's not a one way street and it's just like everything I'm not gonna buy from you, if I don't know you and if you make assumptions about me I'm definitely not gonna buy from you 'cause when people say that they need my- I need their help I think you're you don't even know me I've been in business for 11 years and you're telling me I need your help The language or I can support you but you know maybe they could support me but when you kind of throw out those assumptions I have to step back so for me I think with LinkedIn, the reason it's worked is because I'm just staying true to myself and I don't care how many likes I get I'm consistent and I have a group of people that I work with and I have worked with and hopefully you know I open doors to new work as well and that comes in but it's like if you wanna if you wanna work with me on LinkedIn approach me in a nice manner say hello how you doing? What are you about? and you know you'll probably get a lot more from me, okay. But I'm not gonna buy from someone I don't know. It's as simple as that you need to get to know the brand. Yeah, just want to share that. Yeah. - Yeah definitely and I think it says a lot I think about the person sending those messages because to me it definitely says like all I care about is selling this thing I don't care who I sell it to I don't care what the side effects are of me pushing it on everybody. All I care about is making a sale. Like for me, you're not my person then. (laughs) We are not on the same wavelength at all. (both laugh) - [Tanya] Exactly - So yeah I have this I have to say by like okay well we're gonna disconnect now and I'm gonna delete that. We will not be there for each other again. Yeah. Because for me it's very much about like building that community and that sort of interconnected network basically so that it might be that somebody is who I connect with We're not meant to work together That we're not the kind of you know we don't offer what each other need but it might well be that down the line they meet somebody and they're like "Oh they need this social media person "Here you go. This is the person to speak to". or the I meet somebody or I already know somebody or I'm working with somebody and they're like "Oh I need this" and I'm like I know the person for you I can make a recommendation and I think that's something that LinkedIn is really good at because it does, it promotes connection as that sort of networking thing It's it's networking over sales In theory. Some people have definitely taken the sales only route (laughs) - Yeah but you know it doesn't last I think like you might make some sales and then they'll they'll realise that it won't be consistent You know? I think that's what you'll realise that you don't build a relationship when you even notice that with my business it's like the schools that I've worked with when I've worked a long time with them they recommend me to the office You know the headmaster will recommend me to the other school or they'll say I'll give you a reference for that. And that's how I've built my reputation and word of mouth. Don't I think don't ever, you know, think about that or what's the word don't ever look at? Word of mouth as not working because I think that's always the most powerful way of people connecting and people do that on LinkedIn. And if you're connected to a certain group or networking group you will also let that person down I think it never underestimate who you meet because some person maybe present themselves like me, I my kind of my brand is communication doctor but my background is teaching, yeah? There's lots of different strings to my bow and there's lots of different people that I know so what I realise, I think about myself when I approach people or speak to people cause you they may be having one face and there could be something else they do so it's always good to have that conversation and I also believe in the power of serendipity as well so I feel when people come to me that is a universe bringing someone to me for a reason whatever it's a good or bad reason I don't know but I always like to explore and have the conversation because it may be it's someone's sister or someone's brother or someone's friend really may need my you know my assistance you know you just don't know so that is the power of networking so you don't wanna totally dismiss somebody but then if someone is rude, that's like something else. I'm gonna move the sales, I find it rude when somebody just pushes all that stuff on you and it's self absorbed. Like let me I don't wanna work with those people but if someone's like minded and can have a conversation then yes, I'm open to that and we can choose I think that's what people don't realise. You can choose in life who you want to work with. You can say no to people. The power of no is so important and you know it- for me it's changed my life because before I was a bit of a people pleaser and when I say no now I feel empowered and actually it opens more doors when you say no, that's what I realized. It does actually open more doors When you say no to what you don't wanna do rather than saying yes to what you wanna do. If you don't wanna do it's not gonna work. You know? If passion is not there it's not gonna it's not gonna work. - (Alexis) Yeah no it's so true and I think in all aspects of life as well especially in business, but yeah. In all aspects of life and I've definitely found that myself is that the more things that I'm like no that is not for me I don't wanna do that The more opportunities open up in areas I'm like yeah that is what I wanna do actually. Hooray So it is, I think the thing is you can it's easy to sort of get into that that head space where you're like but if I say no to this I'm saying no to money potentially maybe a long term contract that might be really really helpful and it is so hard to find that point where it like you have the ability to say no because you know you can float yourself without it but you, you're just it's so to say the first few times I think it's just like "Oh I can't do it". (laughs) - (Tanya) Exactly. You're right, you're right and it's so funny 'cause I did I read Shonda Rhimes "the power of yes" and I had a year, I think it was about three or four years ago, and I wrote on LinkedIn I've just read The Power of Yes I'm gonna have a year of yes The year of yes or something that, I think was a year of yes or something along those lines and I did have a year of yes my God was at the best lesson ever! (Tanya laughs) - Cause' the following year was the year of no and I've never gone back! (both laugh) - Yeah 'cause the year of yes, I did a lot of free work actually. That's what happened. I did a lot of speaking for free It did, there was some doors that opened and I felt there was some situations where I was taken advantage of and that's what happens and I feel that was a really good lesson for me, that year of yes, because there was so much people that are willing to take advantage of you rather than pay you and the minute or, so for me if I don't mind doing something for free every now and then or doing a master class or doing something if I feel like I trust the people or you know if I actually liked it, I don't mind doing that every now and then but it's got to be my choice now it's made a difference. But there were a lot of people out there that take advantage of you but when you learn to say no you actually get more respect. You get more respect from others. People respect you and they're actually paying you more so that's one thing to learn. Yeah. - Yeah Yeah I think that that's again it's about balance isn't it? because there's I mean there's a lot of talk generally and especially like the entrepreneur entrepreneurial communities about like working for free whether you should work for free and some people will tell you to say yes to all unpaid work and some people will be like you should say no to all unpaid work and like I fall definitely somewhere in the middle it's got to be on a case by case basis. And again it comes back to networking I think doesn't it? If I know somebody and I've seen them put stuff out and they're like "Hey will you come "and speak in my membership? "Will you do a masterclass for my membership group?" and I know them and we know, I know they're on the same sort of wavelength as me with what what we talk about, I know that their- That the people in their membership might be interested in the way I do things. Then yeah I'll do that for free. That's that's fine. - That makes sense. - But if you like shoot me a message on LinkedIn and be like "Hey we follow each other but we've never spoken "Can you teach this? "Can you do this talk or whatever for free "we've got no budget." I'm gonna be like "ah no I'm good. Thanks." (both laugh) - Exactly. There's no reala- Again It all comes down to relationship. Isn't it building that relationship. It's just simple. Just simple isn't it? When you think about it it's just like anything in life I like said. Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah. So you have found that you have built a lot of relationships through LinkedIn? Because this again is something that people I think there is a big misunderstanding that LinkedIn is actually just about sales and it is just about people talking about what they do and this business deal they've made and this thing they've done and et cetera et cetera but it's really not. So how have you, because you have really sort of rejected the the traditional LinkedIn style of of doing things. (Tanya laughs) So how have you managed to sort of grow that network and take a more community-based approach? - That's really interesting if I'm honest with you I think it's down to personality I think part of it's probably my personality because anywhere I go it's just who I am, I do- I talk to everyone you know even right from where I live you know I I talked to the bin man, the guy that did puts out the bins or you know I'll talk to the local grocers I talk to, I talk to everyone so even like in my community I'm known. Yeah. I'm that sort of person that smiles at everybody and not don't have a full blown conversation with them but if I say hello to everyone, and I suppose that I've done that a little bit on LinkedIn in terms of some of the people I've connected with. If I'm interested or it's something that I don't know about because I'm a very curious person so sometimes if there's something that I'm not Oh I'm not quite sure Well that sounds interesting or they're doing something a little bit different, I might ask them do you wanna have a virtual coffee? or could we have a talk about what you're doing? and I learn, I learned so much from that and also I'm also involved in various different networking groups as well which I have been invited, because people invite me to things all the time but actually if I'm honest with you, part of that is LinkedIn and part of that is the podcast as well. 'Cause I've been to people's book launches, I've been to people when they're launching their businesses or they're launching something new. They invite me and I feel especially if they've been on my podcast, that's quite nice that the podcast is a great way of building networking as well with people and also it's a good way of connecting with people who could potentially be clients for you as well and collaborating. So I think it's, if I'm honest with you it's a mixture of the two because when I started LinkedIn more engagement it was when I had my YouTube channel which wasn't that successful to be honest with you or hasn't been that successful but my podcast has, on a different level, and I think it's cause it is it's on various different platforms and you know it approaches, but I think also it takes time to build something as well. And my approach is different because I realised I'm not on the YouTube channel My style was slightly different in terms of what I was doing even though I was interviewing people but it was more about them and in the Real Stories it's more about the relationship between myself and them and the conversation, and also the real story because I'm very much a lover of seeing the bumps in the road and the success as well so the dark and the light I'm a lover of Carl Jung as well. That kind of talks a lot about the shadow, your shadow side and your light side so I think I've managed to build that up because of my personality and also just knowing yourself as a person I don't really care what people think about me, I've got to that stage that, well okay I do care to a certain extent or I guess, (laughs) but just generally you've got let go of that a little bit and if you post sometimes, I might post and I get two likes and that's fine. It's not a big deal. I'm just putting stuff out there Some things will get more interaction than others but for me it's more the relationships that I've built and I must say I have got some beautiful friendships which I have built on LinkedIn and, you know, they started off with just working with people but I find like-minded people and I'm actually you know we've become friends. I talk to them regularly and collaborate regularly and that is all happened through LinkedIn. So there's a lot of power in it but it's just how you approach it and if you've got that attitude. Some people just want a business. They want it, if you wanna sell quickly and you're impatient and you don't wanna build a relationship LinkedIn probably is not the place for you but not place for anyone because, what I've learned over the years I've been a business, That's what business is about, It's about building relationships. I keep putting it back to and if you wanna get quick rich quick and sell quick it's a totally different energy so you'll probably, you might be successful. You might, it might really work for you but it depends also what your product is. Because my product is about people and and therapy and connection so it needs that relationship so if I was probably selling I don't know Oil of Olay you know maybe that would work. But so it depends on the product as well I think you have to you have to bear in mind what product is but yeah but my brand is me so I'm just myself. Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, no I - I think it is sort of like you say what what you're offering will make a difference but I do think it comes down to you. Like what you put out is what you're gonna get back to a large degree, so you put out a lot of like interesting like really thoughtful deep posts as well. - Oh okay, thank you. - Well you do (indistinct) (laughs) - I thought (indistinct) I don't even think about it like that but yeah, it's interesting. It probably is deep. 'Cause that's just me That's my personality It's what I'm interested in. Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. and so there is you invite people to think. So that was like a really weird sentence - I like it. (Alexis laughs) (Tanya) - I like it. - You do, you invite people to think and you sort of questioning people without- in an open way rather than being like "Hey do you think of that? "Do you think like this? you're wrong" It's just like "Hey, maybe there's other ways to think about this "Have you thought about this a different way?" And you kind of open the discussion like that with people on their own and then also, that opens the discussion in your comments on that as well I think. - Yeah. That's interesting. 'cause sometimes I might get say 10 likes but 19 comments and I think that's really powerful. 'Cause I like it when people comment more when- cause there's sometimes where people hardly comment and then when like when they do it's like everyone's having a conversation and I do like that as well because the open question. I think it's open questions is what I do a lot of. I think I do a lot, I think that's what I do a lot of open questions and that's because of the work that I do I suppose. I ask the open questions so people can relate or you know just openly answer you know, with no wrong no right. And I don't believe, I hate the whole idea of judgment. I see the world this way because you don't learn that way and I suppose I'm always open to learning as well. That's just my personality. So yeah It's interesting that you picked up on that and the more I think about it I don't necessarily go out my way to do it but that's what I do do. I do I ask open questions and that works for me but again I think it works because of the nature of what I'm doing but I always would say, if I'm coaching someone or working with someone it would depend on what their business is, as to what kind of posts they put out that works for them. 'Cause some people will put long essays man, if it- for me I'm not- If someone's got like four or five paragraphs I'm not reading it. Right. (laughs) That's just because that's me. Yeah. - Yeah. - So I like to get to the point quickly as well in some ways so it just depends and then then but there'll be other people that love LinkedIn because they like to read this like three or four paragraphs about something, and it will if it's of interest I will 'cause I would like to read articles but some people fit- If I'm scrolling down and it's really long I'm probably not gonna read it all if it's really long, so it's just figuring out what works for you and who you connect to. So I think there's an even think there's a rule- 'Cause people have LinkedIn coaches and I've spoken to them I don't think there's a wrong or right way to be honest with you, I think it's just experimental. - Yeah. Yeah. No I do. I agree and I and I think the- cause I see a lot of LinkedIn coaches and I follow several of them because obviously I am trying to figure out the best ways to do like LinkedIn but it is, what I hate is also that that sort of of one size fits all attitude of like "you need to do this, you need to do that" when really you need to figure out who you are and who your audience is and how to connect to them, and that is very different depending on a million factors. And so there's sort of advice of like you should always post a video or you should always post photos or you should only post really long texts and I'm just like "Or you could be led by your audience". - Yes - Just gonna put that out there. (laughs) - Yeah, Yeah. So true. - So yeah actually it is it is frustrating to see those sorts of, so many as well, like one size fits all advice things when as you are living proof that you can do it different ways. And there is so many people who I have found on LinkedIn now who are doing it very differently and like everybody is posting totally different types of content that they're breaking the LinkedIn rules about what you're supposed to do on the platform and they're all doing really well off it, because you know you've all sort of found your people and the people who resonate with that stuff, which is so important, and ultimately like that's that's what it comes down to. Because you can't- You can't be for everybody you know, you can't reach everybody, That's not how the world works. - It's so interesting you say that so interesting you say that, cause I'm just thinking of some of the things that I know that I've learned from LinkedIn coach so I'm just gonna give this to people just in case they wanna know with regards to posting. Apparently in the first hour of your post if you get over 20 likes, then it reads the algorithm and your, more of your viewers will see it you know? And then they also say that LinkedIn likes content. Likes a lot of content. Like the LinkedIn lives that sort of thing. So it's really interesting cause' that doesn't always happen for me, in the fact that- but there are actually, I know there are people out there, there are groups because I've been asked to follow them and I haven't because I'm so. I will scream the houses down because I'm all about authenticity. I don't buy likes but there are actually groups out there, and I've been heard about this, where they are groups that will support people so they get those 20 likes in the first hour. So when someone posts something they tag them and they get the 20 likes in the first hour. Now I don't do that I do tag people, I don't do that, because for me if I tag you, it's up to you whether or not you wanna respond or not because I'm coming from that authentic place and I would hate to know that you're liking my stuff because you were in a group (Tanya laughs) rather than because you actually like it. So for me that is just like nah, that's just too fake but there's a lot of that that goes on actually, and then obviously they get more traction for their particular posts, so it's a very much a fake world in terms of what is happening. And we may be looking at people and seeing okay this person's doing really well but there's so much interesting things that go on. I've learned over the you know just doing this podcast and speaking to people and speaking to LinkedIn coaches about all these different things and I just find it fascinating, but I just wanna say here and now I don't belong to those groups. As soon as I see I walk away because I'm authentic and I don't care. Sometimes I'll tag people because I mean because there are people that I know and I think they'll find this particular thing interesting, I never tag the same people either. Unless I know they're really interested in my podcast or they listened to the podcast I will tag them but I try to come from that authentic place where I'm not paying people to like the in the first hour. (Tanya laughs) - Yeah. Yeah. (Tanya) - I've learned it doesn't work. (laughs) Yeah. I think that's the best way to do it. (Tanya) - So interesting isn't it. I really don't like the sort of the the groups like that, the paid followers and stuff because I mean for a million different reasons but they are not like they are not like- They're not your people. And it is so much better to do it authentically and to have people in your network who are actually, genuinely interested in what you do. And I tend to find with the LinkedIn algorithm that there is a much longer life for posts on LinkedIn. So for all the people who say like you need to post three times a day. I think, I see posts in my feed from three weeks ago because suddenly they've got traction on them and I think well why why why would I wanna post it three times a day when I you know people- these people are posting once a week or whatever three weeks later I'm still seeing it? Like (laughter) that is a very different. So it frustrates me to see that sort of playing of the system. I feel like it kind of limits your authentic reach as well. (Tanya) - Exactly. - Because people will notice You know. People are not- You know- That- They see the same people liking your stuff. They see the same people commenting on every single post. Like they're gonna twig especially when it's sort of, I tend to find the very generic comments if they're leaving comments as well, where it's (inaudible) - Yeah, yeah - Cause I have the same peop- I will have- There's a group of people I think kind of the same people that kind of like my post but I will know them and they're quite genuine So (laughs) - But I think there's the difference Yeah. The difference with the comments tends to be that the the people who are really engaging with your content or answering the questions that you've asked for like their own perspective or sharing their story and the sort of the group of of engagement people are just like "great post", "love this" and I'm like yeah okay then. - Putting that on LinkedIn if you notice they've actually started making those suggestions So when you click on the comments, you can click that. Well I can't do that because for me that again is so un-authentic, I can't, I can't just like it cause I'm just like no that's not right but I see you see that come up. Don't they in the comments to actually suggestion of what you could say great posts this. (Tanya laughs) - I have so many mixed feelings about that. because they do it with the messages now they brought the messages as well for things. I get it We're all really busy But I mean also if you are too busy to write "great post" or leave an actual comment then you don't care enough about that thing to be leaving the comment at all, and that's okay. You don't have to just be commenting because you have to be out engaging Like you need to be engaging, but you need to be engaging. because you care about the thing you've read or you have something to offer. This sort of engagement for the sake of engagement really irritates me. (Alexis laughs) (Tanya laughs) - I know It's so funny. It's so funny. What kind of does, 'Cause you can see that straight away can't you? You can see that straight away. I think that's what I like about LinkedIn 'cause if you just sit back and watch sometimes you don't even have to post. Like you know something I'm sort of person that goes into LinkedIn on my lunch break. You know I will pop in if I'm sat on my lunch break and have a little scroll. And I guess it's just nice to observe people and observe things and observe interactions with our posts. It's interesting because we know when you find a post interesting in it's like "Oh that's interesting" I'd like to comment or like I got sent something today from Samantha Who's always about social justice and climate justice, so whenever she posts it I do find myself, Actually there's certain people which I will actually read the post and you can so tell the ones that just say, it's like the Americans "Great job". (both laugh) - They're kind of doing that "Great job", "Okay". (both laugh) - Just keeping it really simple and as you can see it's almost like you can see who's genuine and who is fa- I'll use the word fake, I'm sorry, who's fake and who's genuine. You can see a mile off really and as you say those people aren't in your people because the people that are genuine really interested in your stuff and could potentially be your clients and those that that's why you don't wanna get involved in all those groups that are just gonna like something because it's not gonna work. It's not gonna work long-term but they're not gonna be your clients. - Yeah - Yeah. Simple as that, isn't it? - It is, it really is and actually talking about sort of networking and stuff I read as I was getting prepared for this interview I got an email from you from your mailing list that you - [Tanya] Oh did you? Oh brilliant. - That you have launched. - [Tanya] Excellent - You have launched your communication hub. - Yes. - Which sounds fabulous, so do tell us about that. - You know it's so funny cause I'm I've actually got a VA. (laughs) - Oh hooray. - She's done that for me. (both laughing) - She's done a very good job. - Yes that's happening today. (both laugh) - Sometimes you're in your own world and you do your stuff and then you kind of thing but yeah I had have launched communication hub. I'm really excited about it, I'm just hoping that we get loads of people involved because one of, my idea for communication hub has been kind of observing people's stress over the pandemic, people that are leaders and in business basically it's for leaders, and I say for creative leaders and conscious leaders, people who are sensitive like myself. Cause I always say I'm a bit, I'm an empathic leader and I am sensitive. Not sensitive to the point where I'm ridiculous but I'm just a feeler you know, I'm a feeler and I suppose in England, stiff upper lip and all that, we know we're not meant to feel are we. But you know that's just who I am, so communication hub is about bringing leaders and bringing CEOs and business owners together to express what their challenges are and to get support. Now we'll be having weekly meetings where people come together and I'm a you know I'm a psychodrama therapist and you know I'm able to kind of deal with those situations but the idea is to have experts and to pull in once a month an expert to help people through, and it's really reasonable It's not a lot of money either to join, You know it's a it's a monthly subscription but I feel it's very reasonable. And I feel that it's about supporting people now because I've had some real issues with "Lifted and Gifted" during this time because I work for schools and care homes and both are shut. Some of the work was continued on zoom but in terms of how much I was earning my earnings went down I'm you know, I'm not ashamed to say that, but what I realised is there's a lot of people that are ashamed to talk about what's going on so in this space it's like "okay what's your challenge?" I don't wanna hear about what your successes in that group. It's like what's your challenge? Let's get you some help. Oh let's talk to this person. So it's basically like a bit of a networking group but it's a bit more than networking because we're helping people solve problems. Yeah and that's the difference between communication hub and say a networking group, because we're addressing what's going on for those people. And I think when people openly speak and as a group, when you get group of people together, there'll be people that also will actually be able to help them and so forth and so forth and that's what it's about. Yeah That's what it's about. Speaking your truth in hub you know coming together. I'm all about speaking your truth. More truth! More truth! Tell us, tell us, tell us, we can help. We don't speak enough to get the support that we need so that's what that's about. Yeah. - And there is there is so much power in, I think even there was there've been so many times like in my life where I've even found that like not just saying like "this is the thing that I'm struggling with "I cannot figure this out "I have no idea what I'm doing," just saying that allows things to fall into place, even without other people. So it is so powerful to be able to just have a space where you know you're not judged. You're, you can say like "help "I have no idea what I'm doing "Oh my God this awful terrible thing has happened "My business is falling apart "I have no income "Everything is awful" and you know people are just gonna go "yeah we get it "Yeah, been there. Know the feeling." Nobody's gonna go "Oh well I fail I had six figures this month" (laughs) - Yeah We don't want those people! (both laugh) - We don't want new people that are just gonna, You know those people probably lied about that. You know I just I want people that generally gonna say this is like you say this is gonna going on and then, you know, there'll be loads of stuff but it's step by step. Okay, we can help you with that one thing, also accountability. We can help that one thing, just pick one thing today. Okay I'm gonna connect you to this person and we may even have the conversation throughout the session and there could be some quiet people that are going through the exact same thing. But I said I believe in the power of the universe so I always see that in groups, I've noticed that in my life, that are normally thrown into groups and we're all going through the same thing. So I know that the right people will come to that group. I do really believe that strongly as well. So we get that support and if we don't we'll source that support and we'll help people, because it is about helping people. And it and it isn't just about taking loads of money, That's why it's a really reasonable price, I feel it is you know? Yeah. It's affordable because a lot of people are going through so much and it's not about just, it's not about me making loads of money from everybody, It's about supporting and creating a networking group and so I've got to live to you know. So I thought do I do this for free? Are you silly? 'cause cause people were not gonna commit if it's for free you know but if you pay something then it will help others. But yeah you're so right I don't want no six figure people say "I've earned this amount month, I'm doing really well." That's good for you. That's brilliant for you, but we're finding this space to help people really you know? Yeah. - Yeah Yeah. Well that that lovely and I do I have to say your your VA has done a fabulous job with the email. (both laugh) - So shout out to her. - Thank you. I'll tell her. (both laugh) - [Tanya] I've got a administrator with Lifted and Gifted, it does help with life. I tell you anybody that's trying to do it without help it does help to juggle especially. Because I'm someone who was very stubborn in terms of always working for myself but when I bring people in it does help a lot you know, for the all the right people to do the right thing. So yeah. Yeah. So thank you, I will tell Lizzie. (laughs) - [Alexis] Yeah it is It's very scary to start outsourcing I think, especially this I think a lot of business owners myself included are very like "this is my baby", "nobody else could do it like I can". It makes such a difference It's so helpful to free up Not just your time but also like your brain space to be able to not have to think about that thing. - Mm mm no totally totally and there could be just little things for me It's just that all the things that- I cause she's like my fairy godmother so all the things that I don't like doing she does and I do all the things that I like doing and there are things that I do all my I do like to do my own marketing for example. I love using Canva, that posted this morning I did it because I liked doing stuff like that so yeah. So to be able to do that I think that's what's really important and then because of course we're all gonna have to do that in some point in the beginning you're gonna have to do all the things that you don't like doing but then if you can get to that stage where you can outsource, it's better. Like yourself for the social media you know, if you know you'd be perfect If I hate social media, "Alexis do my social media!" So that and there's so much people like. I love social media I must admit I enjoy doing it but there is so much people out there that really find it hard and don't know how to sell themselves because they think "okay "this is too much me me me or whatever." Yeah so it's so important to have people like yourself to help others to get yourself out there Totally Totally, Yeah. - [Alexis] Yeah. Yeah. Well speaking of social media do tell everybody where they can find you on social media - You know I'm really easy to find you know. I don't even know if I like that or not because yeah it's not good, It's not good. It's because my it's my surname you see, cause my my husband's names are Ghanaian and my name is British or not British, or actually Tanya was Russian, I was named after the Russian Saint, Saint Tanya, 'cause my sister named me, my eldest sister named me. Yeah. Yeah. So St Tanya you see and St Tanya actually was a teacher so interesting because I've been a teacher too. There's a day in Russia where they have a whole day dedicated to Tanya so I quite like that, but yeah so cause I've got that mix of that thing I think it's easy to Google me and to find me but if you put "communication doctor" also having a YouTube channel also helps for finding me really easy as well. So yeah just Google me, communication doctor, and if you wanna join my hub communicationdoctor.co.uk go straight have a look at my website which I've just basically, I've just cleaned up because before I think it just needed some work so I've cleaned it up now. It's up to date and the hub link is on there as well. If you wanna join my hub anybody's welcome, If you're going through whatever you're going through. As I said as long as you're not stuck up your own arse and you're down to worth then we'll we'll invite you in! (Tanya laughs) But yeah that's understood That's that's just me You know it's not, as you are, just genuine and you wanna help. We are here to help, We are here to support and that's what it is 'cause I genuinely love to see. I suppose it's probably my teaching background I love to see people grow you know? And I'm a lover of plants as well. It's not necessarily like plants, like planting the seed watering that seed and I see that with people and I love to do that. I genuinely love to do that with people and people around me, so it'd be great that we can offer that support you know because I hate the fact that anybody's struggling out there. People are people are struggling and I hate that and I want help people but I also said there is a cost there because we all need to live at the end of the day but yeah. - Yeah I will I'll drop all the links in the show notes so that people can come and find you even easier (laughs) They won't even have to Google! (both laugh) - Easy. Easy. But you know me, just Google me. - It's always good to make it easy It's good to make it easier! - Yeah. - Well thank you very much for being here It's been lovely to talk to you. - It's been lovely I mean really, It's always nice to see you Alexis. I do I love your genuine-ness. And love I love the fact You just tell it like it is, so that's that's that's my kind of woman, Just tell it like it is. (singing) "tell it like it is!" (both laughing) - Thank you. - It's about that. It's all about that. Yeah. - [Hawke] If you want more regular reminders to find your own way to use social media follow Alexis on your social platform of choice all the links will be in the show notes until next time be a human